On Transitions

Hubs starts a new job on April 2 and he’s meeting the new chapter of his career with a mix of joy, relief and trepidation. The job he is leaving he has been at since May 2004. Yup, right after he graduated with his degree. It was his first job after University. And now, it’s time to move on. We always knew at some point he would be leaving much go on to much bigger and better things but the circumstances that surrounded his leaving were less than desirable. But again, it was also time to move on. The less than desirable circumstance was just the straw that broke the camels back if you will. It finally lit the necessary fire under Hubs to get out of there. He’s happier for having gotten out. Much happier. He’s blissful almost. It was time to move on. But we never realized how hard this transition would be on not only us but on other people. 

This morning I cried privately at the thought of no longer visiting Hubs in his office or knowing what’s going on there. I’ve just barely gotten use to the fact that my father no longer works there (it’s only taken 8 month) but now to have Hubs leave there too is a little hard to swallow. The Administrative Assistant LM  is going to miss hubs like there is no tomorrow I’m told. She’s been with his place of work since September 2004 and she’s very motherly towards Hubs. Apparently he reminds her of her son at times. She called me this morning to ask about an appropriate gift for him. I told her that he was a little apprehenvise about leaving but we both agree this was for the best and that his new job will do wonderful things for his career. A lot of the people that he works with have been a nice cirlce of friends to us. A pseudo family really. Many of them were at our wedding last July. We’ve celebrated weddings, births and mourned losses with these people. We have sipped coffee, guinness and broken bread with these people many many many times. It will be a hard transition for all of us. There will be one less person at coffee break in the morning.

A lot of these people were very welcoming to me when my father first started as the director there as well. Yes, my father was Hubses boss. I was in  my first year of University and they were really warm and genuine. They accepted me as hubses wife as well though giggled at jokes about marrying his bosses daughter. Some of these people have been friends with Hubs since their first year of University. And like Hub went on to get jobs at the university right after graduation. We have a feeling these people will continue to play a role in our lives. Life wouldn’t be the same without them.

Tonight we clean out his office. Our goofy wedding portrait will be packed up along with his class pin up girl picture and his art deco concert poster for a band I can never remember the name of. Statler and Waldorf that came home with me from England will have to find a new home along with the BIG rubber rat that was given to HUBS when my Father left. Tomorrow morning there will be cake for Hubs and a gift and I was asked to attend.  Apparently LM said it wouldn’t be a YAY Hubs party with out me because it’s truly a YAY for me and Hubs. I’ll have to remember to bring my camera.

This is one of the first major transistions that has occured in our marriage. We don’t count me moving out of my parents house as happening during our marriage as it was because of our marriage I moved out. A by product of marriage if you will. Hubs will no longer be walking to work. Instead he’ll be working across the street from me. Rather than on the other side of town. He’ll have a whole new set of responsibilities though in the same field. There will be a steep learning curve. But he’s excited about that. Though I know deep down inside he’s going to miss his current job. And it will mostly be because of the people.

“Nothing is secure but life, transition, the energizing spirit.” – Emerson

L.

On Letting Go

This is a continuation, I suppose of the post “On Projection.”

This person is hard after being as wicked and hateful as she can. In someways I think it is hilarious that a 34 year old woman can behave this way. In otherways, I feel bad for her that her life is so miserable, she needs to do her best to make other, people she must be jealous or envious of in some way, miserable.

So here is what has happened as of late. She has been trashing me in as many ways as she can, wherever she thinks she can get away with it. I fought back in a very honest and factual way and as such, again, because she is disagreed with, she is doing what she can to ‘get me in trouble’ or something.

Here is the thing, the only place I have written about this is here (I carried the first post over from a yahoo 360 that no one is at.) I haven’t said a cross thing about her character to anyone, though there is plenty I could say. I haven’t gone out of my way to follow her to the ends of the internet, I haven’t gone to administrators making up lies about her like she has about me. Apparently she needs to heed her own advice about growing up.

Here is what I want to say, and I *know* she stops in here from time to time, she has to, this is the”secret blog” after all (some secret when I have it linked to my main site.)

Stop it. Grow up and let it go already. YOU don’t always have to win. YOU don’t always have to be right. You spoke about the loser bench….why would I want to sit there and be complacent and bitchy and upset about my life when I can be out DOING. Live and let live and leave me the hell alone. You are accomplishing nothing with your hatefulness and lies. People are aware of you, having seen what you do and been made aware.

You contributed NOTHING to my life. You are toxic. Everything about you is toxic. I wish I had never met you. You are one of the life eeking people I SWORE I was going to keep out of my life. You spoke always of vampiric people when you didn’t like someone, perhaps a peek in your mirror will reveal a thing or two about yourself…projection again.

Be gone from me.

Goodbye.

On Evolving

I turned another year older the other day and it was weird. Very anti-climactic. It was very much like another day on earth except I got gifts and a few more phone calls than usual. Hubs has been trying to make it extra special because this has been a rough year for me and I appreciated his efforts but I must say the joking words my father wrote in my birthday card really rang true. 23 is in fact really a nothing birthday.

My birthday always makes me reflective however. I reflect on who I was and who I almost am. Birthdays have a funny way of doing that to people.

Recently a friend I’ve had since I was in the 10th grade lamented the fact that she wished things were the way they use to be. She wished we could get into our very own Delorian and whisk ourselves back to a time of Cherry Pepsi and copying each others homework. She wanted life to be simple again (it’s always interesting to look back to a period where you thought your life was complicated and realize it really wasn’t.) She longed for lunch breaks in the caf, decorating our lockers and being a small group of people who cared about each other fiercely. We are still a small group of people who are about each other deeply but the other stuff has faded away. We’re all on different roads doing different things and these are roads that we knew that we were travel on but never in a million years would admit to it. I’m married with a steady job and a University degree. She’s had a few failed relationships, a few failed living on her own attemtps, has a steady job and a college diploma. Our other friend is finishing a fine arts degree, living at home and is desperately in love with a boy for the first time. We all came together this past summer at my wedding. They watched me get married and I cried when I saw them. We were together again, happy, joyous and still fiercely caring for one another.

I told this friend that things inevitably will never be like they were. That’s impossible. But the neat thing is that we’ve evolved as human beings. We’ve become rich multilayered characters in this play of life. We’ve become the adults we’ve always feared we would be. We’ve become what we never thought possible. We’ve grown up but not out of each other and we like that…alot.

We’ve evolved and will continute evolving and it’s a beautiful thing.

L.